Hi brave soul. Why did I call you brave? Well, you are brave because of two reasons. Number one for reading articles on mental health. That shows you want to learn about yourself and grow. And second, you identified and thought about the things you are ashamed of. And that’s beautiful. A good start.
As promised, let’s dig deep to understand how we can manage the emotions of shame?
Whatever you are ashamed of, you need to understand that IT IS AN IRRATIONAL BELIEF that others will discover something negative about you. And also that you must accept their judgment. We all that internal critic making us falsely believe that you are a failure, useless, worthless, etc. When happens in shame you believe that others will apply the same. If you believe that you as a human can be rated at all, the trouble begins.
We need to understand that as humans we all make and will make mistakes. We need to give ourselves room for improvement. That can only happen when we accept the mistake and focus more on ways to improve and channelize our emotions positively. Being over-critical and saying unhealthy sentences to ourselves is waste of time and energy. Say positive things to yourself and think of what steps can be taken to improve. For example, “I am a failure” can be looked at as “I need to work harder” or “I learned something new”. This exercise helps us to create new healthy patterns and opportunities.
Self-acceptance cannot take place until we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we made. We need to release the baggage of old self and think of how you want to be? And take baby steps to reach that. Set small targets or goals. Create a journal/diary or write on a whiteboard to keep a track of your progress.
When you follow these steps, self-love takes place. As you take care of your emotional, physical, and spiritual needs self-love comes along. The key to self-love is self-discipline. So daily small habits done repeatedly make all the difference.
It’s time for you to create achievable things to do for the next year. This year love yourself better, which will lead to loving others. Which will lead to doing what makes YOU happy and eventually your light will impact others too. Till then keep shining. See you soon.